Diary of The Homo Gay Sex Harlot Charlie Tan
By Charlie Tan
Chapter Five: Alex Jones Butt Rapes Me In The Mens Room of A Texas Roadhouse!
I've been such a good InfoWarrior junior cadet, I finally caught the attention of AJ himself. I'd been buying and taking all of the supplements until my poop turned blue and then later rainbow. Infowars medical experts assured me that any bright rainbow stool coloration was a natural and harmless indicator that the supplements had now activated a magnetic shield around my balls that would protect them from 5G multiphase interference. Not entirely satisfied with that answer, I demanded to speak to Alex personally. They got him on the line for me and he said he would sell me another supplement that would rectify the rainbow poop coloration issue. He also mentioned he'd be up in my neck of woods in a few days and that he wanted to buy me ribs at a Texas Roadhouse to make it all up to me.
It was like something out of a dream! I spent the next three days and nights massaging scented oils on my ass in anticipation of our date. Alex was quite the gentlemen, complimenting me on how nice I smelled when he picked me up in his armor-plated hummer and whisked me away to a remote Texas Roadhouse. It was a long ride. Alex spent most of it playing FM classic rock and talking about how nice my butt smelled.
True to his word, we gorged ourselves on ribs at Texas Roadhouse. After the meal, he stood and pulled my chair back from the table with me in it, offered me his hand, and said "If you care to join me, M'lady?" How could a girl say no?
Alex grunted a lot as he butt-raped me in the men's room. At the end the evening, as agreed, I handed my entire savings over to him in cash for future supplement orders. And then he sped off, leaving me stranded and broke at a Texas Roadhouse on the side of another barren highway. It all worked out though. That particular Texas Roadhouse registered like a gold mine on my GayFuckFest navigation app, beeping and booping for half the tables. Alex Jones had left me my first 5-star review! Over that weekend I made enough money to cover my uber fare home and get a milkshake to drink along the way 
By Charlie Tan
Chapter Five: Alex Jones Butt Rapes Me In The Mens Room of A Texas Roadhouse!
I've been such a good InfoWarrior junior cadet, I finally caught the attention of AJ himself. I'd been buying and taking all of the supplements until my poop turned blue and then later rainbow. Infowars medical experts assured me that any bright rainbow stool coloration was a natural and harmless indicator that the supplements had now activated a magnetic shield around my balls that would protect them from 5G multiphase interference. Not entirely satisfied with that answer, I demanded to speak to Alex personally. They got him on the line for me and he said he would sell me another supplement that would rectify the rainbow poop coloration issue. He also mentioned he'd be up in my neck of woods in a few days and that he wanted to buy me ribs at a Texas Roadhouse to make it all up to me.
It was like something out of a dream! I spent the next three days and nights massaging scented oils on my ass in anticipation of our date. Alex was quite the gentlemen, complimenting me on how nice I smelled when he picked me up in his armor-plated hummer and whisked me away to a remote Texas Roadhouse. It was a long ride. Alex spent most of it playing FM classic rock and talking about how nice my butt smelled.
True to his word, we gorged ourselves on ribs at Texas Roadhouse. After the meal, he stood and pulled my chair back from the table with me in it, offered me his hand, and said "If you care to join me, M'lady?" How could a girl say no?
Alex grunted a lot as he butt-raped me in the men's room. At the end the evening, as agreed, I handed my entire savings over to him in cash for future supplement orders. And then he sped off, leaving me stranded and broke at a Texas Roadhouse on the side of another barren highway. It all worked out though. That particular Texas Roadhouse registered like a gold mine on my GayFuckFest navigation app, beeping and booping for half the tables. Alex Jones had left me my first 5-star review! Over that weekend I made enough money to cover my uber fare home and get a milkshake to drink along the way 
All I know is that if I so much as fart and there happen to be any dicks in the vicinity? That's instant full-blown AIDS for everyone. 
I offer it to my GayFuckFest app clients all the time but never any takers. The problem is that my penis is repulsive. I try to go near it and it hisses at me. 
Steven Seagal, however, totally does get to have my virgin wiener FOREVER the moment we FKN GET MARRIED! 
The dumbass turkey toms, the hogs, the dogs. The beaver-cock which frequently comes my way -and don't you dare say that's a transexual oxymoron! If you haven't physically lived as a gay sex slut rooster getting gang-banged by six generations of male beavers building a lodge over your ass as I have, don't act like you know. I sit in nectar then stick my ass up in the middle of meadow to allow swarms of hummingsbirds to fuck me. Bears. Whatever girl! Horses won't touch me. Donkeys and mules will put out but horses won't. Horse dong is like my pot-o-gold over the rainbow. 
So him and I are on this rubber raft ride to Haiti right now, he's doing some voodoo on me. He just pulled the jar of virgin gay rooster cock out of my butt and declared that while up my butt it had absorbed my soul and that he now controlled my every thought and action and blah blah blah. I stopped listening because I was just like, "Yeah, sure. Whatevs." I'm having a great time. Haitian Witch Doctor is using me as butt-buoy. He's tying me buttup naked to a round orange buoy which he tows behind the raft. There's not much room on the raft because of all the full canisters we need to make it to Haiti. It's just enough space for two people but HWD likes to stretch his legs. All this man does is steer the boat and smoke in the middle of all those rusted fuel canisters... TBC