THE CHARLATAN!

That's what you are, Pi, a twisty, weasely charlatan.  

You got beady rat eyes, like the no-good shifty POS/SOB you are.

I'm long past mincing words with you.

Game time is over, pal.  Play time is also over.  

Little goo-goo gah-gah baby time, over.

So much shit is over!

Debate time is over.

Whine and bitch time is over.

All that's over m'fkr.

This is me doing an impression of Pi.  

Psuessin' It Up -w/Psioncy  

I will not vote for you, mister Pi.  

Oh no, I will not.  

For I do not like you.

I do not like you a lot.  

Your words are a bore, make me want snore, zsa zsa gabore, whore on the floor, more gore for boar, smore, shore, door.... bloor.  

Quitting the forum like the hundredth time before.  

What is that?  Just again and again coming here and huffing off and coming back and huffing off...  just on and on and on like that.  Jesus.  

Your name shouldn't be Pi.  It should be Chip, cuz you always come in here with giant chip on your shoulder and then get overarchingly offended when I nonchalantly and quite deliberately walk up to you and flick said chip off your shoulder.  You start in to protest, but your protest is cut short by me SLAPPING YOU ACROSS THE FACE.  

You disappoint me, Chip!  I thought you might at least put up a fight instead of throwing yourself on my mercy, which is always a dumb move.

But dumb moves never stopped you from making 'em.  Did they, Chip?  

Chip sounds like a little retard, this fucking Chip character, who is you.

Heaven forbid I ever match you at your own game and make a false accusation towards you.

Those m'fkrs up there in Heaven don't care.  They don't have time to read your personal thoughts directly from your brain.  Get real.  They read it here, bozo.  Off the internet.  What you think the Devas are up there clandestinely monitoring your brain and talking about your brains scans all fkn day like they don't have anything better to do?

That's idiotic.  Your whole theology is devoted to believing that the Gods spend all day wasting all their energy in your service on pointless minutia. Making you what, Supreme Fucking God On High?   Of what, Mount FuckShit? Fuck you.

That means that when those immortal dudes on Jupiter read here that you and Eggraid spent your autumn years just constantly fucking away on each other, that's what goes into your eternal records, Book of Life, Akashic Record, etc.  It's not based on what thoughts you were actually thinking or any unrecorded deeds that you performed.  Naught of that means anything come Judgement Day.  Internet hearsay, OTOH, is completely admissible.  Don't blame me.  The only criteria is that it's all got to be in writing. That's how the system works.

I think I hate NWO apologist Pi even more than I hated the original Pi.  That dude was awful but you're way worse.

Let me ask you something, straight up.  

What kind of guy are you, Pi?  Huh?  You want everybody tracked so they can't leave their 15-minute city zone to go visit grandma who is only two zones over because that requires a special pass.  But Grandma's feeling unexpectedly ill so you need to go over there but you can't cuz zone transfer passes don't get issued after 6 pm and it's past that time and grandma's stuck sick all by her lonesome and what a little old lady ain't got no medicine, no food, no heat?

You're the kind of guy who callously shrugs his shoulders at shit like that and figures it's all gonna somehow be worth it in the end.  Can't whip an omelette up without breaking some eggs, thus you also can't combat imaginary global existential threats without killing a few grandmas here and there. That's your motto.

I don't get it, Chip. Klaus Schwab wouldn't let you lick his butthole, so why do you continue to shill for him?

You know what I think you should really think about getting into, Chip, give some serious thought to?



If you guessed a fecal transplant, you're correct.  Cuz that is what I am recommending.

You've heard of it, right?  Where they take healthy poop from someone else's butt and transplant it into your butt full of sickly poop.

That's the thing, Chip.  Anyone who reads this site can smell it in your words.  You got bad, nasty poop in you.  Not the good kind.  The very BAD kind.

It stinks like shit, and, frankly, so do you.

There.  I just said aloud what everyone else who reads this site is already thinking.    

Kudos to me for bringing Truth and Integrity back into the online discourse.

You, OTOH, need go get someone else's poop shoved up your butt ASAP.

If you're tight on funds, maybe you could try some dogshit?  There's usually plenty of that around.

By all means, Chip, help yourself.

I'm not even going to threaten to kick your ass, even if we were at that point, which we are.  It almost doesn't need to be said.

The thing is, I don't start shit.  I don't throw the first punch, and if you hit me, I don't turn the other cheek neither.  You've got a flurry of devasting short-strike gongfu badassery descending on you instantaneously.  I call it "Cobra Storm of Lightning Fists."  It's my own gong-fu style that I've been developing my entire lifetime and am finally unveiling now. You'll last literally less than a second.  

Then I'll throw you to Eggraid to do his thing with you.  Cuz now I feel a little bad about beating the everloving shit out of you.  Not bad that I did it or that you're all shitbeaten.  I'm dandy with all that.  I just know how much you love being buttsexed by Eggraid.

You're welcome.

Maybe I should cut you some slack.  This has to be hard on you, reading all this every day but not being able to say anything because then you'll look like an asshole for saying something because you said you wouldn't say nothing.  Now literally everyone thinks you're a shmuck.  

And they're right.  You *are* a shmuck.  Because you've done this before, over and over again you do this.  Yet amazingly you don't seem to see it.  You always "announce" your departure.  It's so lame, dude, so unbelievably shmucky lame-o.  

You are so immature that I find it repulsive.

I’m not joking, by the way.

Your maturity is lower than that of a newborn. It’s more like the embryonic stage of a fetus. With only four brain cells waiting to divide into eight.

Sadly, that never happened for you.

I bet I can guess your Chinese name.

Go ahead, guess what I'm gonna guess!



Charlie Tan.  That's your Chinese name.

Charlie Tan and all his wacky asian adventures... in Canaduhr.  Chip...err... I mean Charlie is back in BeaverCrap Junction and thinks he's a Chinese who immigrated there even though he's a certified Eskimo.  

Wing Wing Wing!

"Ohhhh herro, thissa amissa Charlie Tan," say a Charlie Tan.

"Herro amissa Charlie Tan.  Thissa a Chinatown carring yu," say a phoneguy, "So rong amissa Charlie Tan."

"So rong a Chinatown phone guy," say amissa Charlie Tan.

 Some shit like that.  Just off-the-wall retarded.

That's soooooo racist, Charlie!

I'd like to remind you to watch how you behave your manners around here.

This site is not your personal communist think-tank.  

Did you finally buy that ticket to Pyongyang to let Kim Jon Un rub one out on you?

We all want you to fulfill your dreams, Charlie.  

Nobody can say precisely which hypothetical horse's ass you slipped out of, Charlie.  But it was some kind of horse.  That much is evident.

You can go ahead and call that evidence horseshit too. Thats' fine.  I am openly stating that it is horseshit.  What's the confusion here?  

You want to know?  Here's what I think your home looks like, Charlie.  It's way up inside some giant clock.  There's a small apartment of bare wooden planks with a stove and a cot for you -all way the F up at the top of an old wooden clock tower.  Everything is else around you is just giant gears grinding and tocking and ticking and the bells blaring off so loudly you worry your brain matter may soon vibrate out of your nose and eyes and ears.  

My question is WHY?  Why, Charlie, Why?

Stop living in a giant clock, Charlie.  Stop oozing your own brains.

That's why fucking with me comes HIGHLY unrecommended.

11 out 10 m'fkrs who ever fucked with me agree.

I don't need you to respond.  It's better if you don't.

Allows me to get extraspecially creative.

I told you this would happen.  Just remember that you were *warned*  

Warned time and time again over that it would come to this, Mr. Charlie Tan -if that even is your real name.    

Disagreeing with my opinions I could accept.  I could grant you some modicum of respect based on the fact that I respected your right to voice your idiotic opinions that everyone but you thinks are stupid.

So the problem here wouldn't be that if you had voiced those things.  It was that you said them.  Saying, as an action, is malintentive and laden with deceit.  That's why I use my VOICE instead of quote/unquote "saying" something.  

I tell you, the truth rings out loud and clear for the righteous, but woe be unto ye lowly sayers.

Poor Charlie!     You sound more like an old one-eyed bullfrog on the bayou, trying to croak out Linda Ronstadt.  You lost that eye to a snapping turtle, BTW.  His name's Ol' Shucky, this m'fkr who bit your eye out.  He's still around but he don't want to eat you no more cuz you're too old and stringy.  This is why you just stand around all day staring at each other.  Every ten minutes or so he yawns or you snag a fly with your whiplike tongue.  

This is precisely how you come across, Charlie.

Forget it. I’m moving this to the MAIN SCREEN.  

Actually, both screens are the main ones. I sit between them, watching both of them.  

But now you’re on the left one, where you used to be mostly on the right -but sometimes on the left too.

Maybe that doesn’t seem very frightening by itself, but you don’t have the whole picture. Literally. Being on the LEFT screen means that’s what I’m FOCUSING on. The other nonsense goes to the right. Stuff about dog food, because I was searching for dried bone products to make broth with but all google or amazon offers is stuff for dogs.

Whatever. I don’t use SCAMAZON anyway. I don’t get it. Sure, fresh bones make the best broth, but dried bones would still be better than bouillon, right? Wait, isn’t that also what they measure gold in?

Oh, look. You’re back on the right screen now, where all BS flows. I hope you enjoyed all the attention. Don’t worry. I won’t make a habit out of it. I’m trying to score some serious bouillons here, not your unprofitable crap.  

I do this for charity!  

Don't you never ever forget that either.

You even so much as say some shit otherwise, like that I'm not doing all this for charity?

The consequences will be as swift and brutal as they are immediate and dire, I assure you.  

Don't think I'm threatening you here.  Relax, Charlie.  I ain't doing that.  I ain't threatenin' ya'.  

Just saying, things don't always go so well for poor Charlie and maybe that could be part of the reason why.

You ever thought about publishing something, Charlie?  You should.

How about Charlie Tan, Private Gay Butt Whore?  

It could be a whole series of graphic novels set around all the gay sex you keep finding yourself on the receiving end of.

Probably some gays would buy it.

Diary of The Homo Gay Sex Harlot Charlie Tan
By Charlie Tan

Chapter One:  I Like To Think of My Butthole As If It Were A Vagina

My deer gay macho hunky lover, Eggraid, says it feels like one sometimes.  I do so love to please him!  For Krampusklausmas he shoved an icicle up my ass.  Brrrrrr..... it was cold.    I know he means well.  I know he'll stop pimpin' me out once my ho ass earns us enough money...

Diary of The Homo Gay Sex Harlot Charlie Tan
By Charlie Tan

Chapter Two: Handies For Five Bucks A Pop Behind The Poutine Shack 

Hot cheese costs extra, boys!  It costs me extra so it costs you extra.  Golly, I'm trying to make a living here. Yeah, sure mister, I'll give you ten more minutes for another two bucks but it's gotta be UPFRONT! Ok, fine, you can cram it into my ass.  I'll fish the bills out later.  Ouch.  Ouch ouch OUCH!  Owie Wowie!  Ok, are we done sir?  Good, thank you. I've got twenty more clients to get to before lunch, according to my GayFuckFest app.  Must be another convention in town.  

Diary of The Homo Gay Sex Harlot Charlie Tan
By Charlie Tan

Chapter Three: The Mystical Orient

Oh my total fkn gawwwwd!  I can't believe I've been working for headmaster Wang this long and still wind up broke all the time.  Teaching all day and keeping him rich, then getting gay sex whored out all night behind his noodle shop, making him even more richer.  Shhhhh!  Eggraid doesn't know.  This is a side-hustle for me.  I lose money at it cuz headmaster Wang keeps all the money and pays me nothing from either.  Between this and Eggraid pimping me out and my graphic novel studio work of me getting buttraped from nine to five alongside the hundreds of tricks I perform for strange men each week behind headmaster Wang's noodle shop through the GayFuckFest app. I'm just saying, it's all a lot to juggle all these loads I keep taking in.  Egghunnybuns thinks I'm holding out on him. My butt always hurts.    I really hate Asia some days.

Diary of The Homo Gay Sex Harlot Charlie Tan
By Charlie Tan

Chapter Four: Jeffery Epstein Offered Me $50 Per Day Plus Free Room and Board On His Sex Island

I simply couldn't say no to the opportunity of a lifetime!  His jet is niiiice.  I even got to sit on the flight stick!  The island is even better! Last Thursday they pumped me full of fentanyl and had me serve as phoenician bath house boy to Bill Clinton and Prince Henry at the same frkn time.  It was so frkn wild!  The only problem around here is the girl sex slaves.    Some of the billionaire prince clients only like gross, ucky girls and not us.  So we frequently beat up the girls if the clients haven't already done so for us.  We also frequently get beaten and raped by the clients.  All I can say is that I'm having the best summer of my homo gay sex harlot life!

That's why I say you're a Charlatan, Charlie Tan.  I can barely keep track of all your aliases.

Charlie AKA Chip AKA Pi AKA Splendini AKA Hellboy... AKA Ladyluck

Remember Ladyluck -AKA YOU? What kind of dude pretends to be a chick to interact with a relatively small group of other dudes he'd previously been interacting with on another internet forum but now anonymously starts flirting around with them like some pantyless whore? Then once we all realize it's just you, rather than admitting your mistake and clarifying your actions to us as you should have, you do as you always do and switch to another alias and act as if nothing ever occurred.

SK is like an elephant, Charlie.    Satans Kingdom remembers.  

What a naughty little slut you are.  

I do not know nor do I ever want to know, Charlie, how many wieners you have serviced off of this forum lo these many years. Between here and InfoWars and TBJ and your GayFuckFest app we're probably well into having to utilize scientific notation to attempt to calculate anything, with astronomically high theoretical numbers that all correlate one-to-one with wieners.  

We feel this data says a lot about you, Charlie.